Spotlight on Diversity March 2024
Jessie Frias: Standing out as an Afro-Caribbean New Yorker
Jessie Frias
Business Development Representative, illuminico
“When it comes to women, especially when it comes to women of color, we are either considered fun, or loud. For me, I'm both fun and loud. But I'm also very direct,” explained 31-year industry veteran Jessie Frias, Business Development Representative at illuminico. “For women, that can be difficult in this industry because it’s so male-dominated. Being direct is rarely looked at as a positive thing, because sometimes people just don't like to hear what needs to be said…. As a woman of color, try telling a contractor that he made a mistake, or telling your male employer that what he’s saying is not necessarily correct. You can respectfully disagree, but often it doesn’t go over well.”
Frias identifies as Afro-Caribbean, as both of her parents are Dominican. She was born in New York City, spending much of her childhood in the DR. She describes her family culture as matriarchal. “Most of the women in my family are very strong. We've had to take on both the traditional male and female roles as primary breadwinner and nurturer. My dad was strongly male, but was never intimidated by my mom’s strength. So I learned to be OK with being strong.” She uses colorful language to describe the strong women among her extended family.
Frias also does not believe in holding things in: “My rule of thumb is, speak your truth and you say your piece. How people decide to digest it and decipher it, that's on them.” She will also speak up if she sees someone treated poorly. “Sometimes I need 24 to 48 hours to sort through it in my head and figure out the best approach. If you speak out in the moment, there might be too much stubbornness or emotion to get your point across…. But you have to speak up or the behavior will continue, and maybe spread.”
***hole is in the eye of the beholder
Contrary to what you might think, directness is often appreciated, especially among New Yorkers. “For a long time, I thought people didn’t like dealing with me. But it turns out, as I've been told over and over, that it’s refreshing. A lot of times other people want to take the more politic route. I believe in being kind…. But at the end of the day, just say what you mean.”
Her recent transition from inside sales to outside sales hasn’t derailed any of that directness. “I’m not saying one doohickey is better than another. I’m selling myself and the support I can provide to make sure the doohickeys arrive on the job site on time and are priced fairly.” Frias seeks to maintain long-term relationships and is not one to turn over her accepted bid to an in-house project manager.
“Designers continue to seek me out because it was a good experience. There’s going to be times I have to deliver bad news, but it's better to just come out with it than to sugarcoat it or hedge,” Frias said. “My customers know that they’re getting the best information I can possibly give.”
Embracing a value shared by many New Yorkers, her word is her bond. “I always tell my daughter that if I make a promise, I deliver. By hook or by crook, I’m going to be there or make something happen.”
Standout
Frias believes that “Ginger Rogers used to do everything Fred Astair did, only backwards and in heels.” And it’s true that persons of color must work twice as hard to get ahead.
In the nineties, when Frias walked into a meeting, she was likely the only woman and the only person of color. She said she put up with a lot of bad behavior and being pushed aside by those who did not know her. Self-sufficiency was a lesson learned from her time growing up in the Dominical Republic. “You had to make do with what you had, and it nurtured my imagination a lot.” She explained that, in the past, this helped her prove herself, researching answers to questions on her own and picking her own orders in the warehouse.
“That’s not to say that we've broken the ceiling and now everything is fixed. Far from it…. I've managed to find a way to make things work for me.” Frias finds ways to help other sisters in this industry. They seem to naturally congregate at industry events, especially emerging professionals, young and old. “They might just need a sympathetic ear or a little encouragement. Because it can be tough in this business.”
Frias has participated in some industry events around diversity and equity, but not in a leadership role. Her first “lean in” is participating in the current Mentorship Pilot program run by Women in Lighting + Design. “The main reason I decided to participate is to both support and learn from other professionals, especially with this transition to outside sales. I want to help build community.
“Over the years, I’ve gathered up some of the weirdest stories. That's what I love about this industry. Like my family, it's a motley crew, but it's an interesting tribe.”
